I don't want to write this, but since writing last time made me feel better, maybe it will help this time. Actually, I don't really feel much of anything right now considering what happened.
I was supposed to go to another movie with the same girl tonight, but she had to cancel on me due to some of her lessons going late. She caught my voice mail when she told me this, but she also added that she needed to talk with me and would call me later. When I heard that, I knew what she was going to say. She called me later and basically told me that she figured the reason she was so wishy washy is because she didn't feel a "spark" through the time we have spent together. Ummm, yeah. I've heard that before. If one were wishy washy to begin with, wouldn't that mean there was some sort of attraction there that would cause them to wonder about their feelings? After all, "there is opposition in all things," isn't there?
She went on to explain the whole thing about how it wasn't me. I did everything right and nothing wrong. She said I'm a really nice guy and that she even wants to feel something for me, but it just isn't there. Great! The whole nice guy routine again. I've lost track of how many times I've heard that, but frankly, I'm extremely sick of it. I hate how girls think of me as a good guy and because of that, they supposedly aren't attracted to me and only think of me as one of their "guy friends." On the other hand, because I'm the nice guy, I hear all the time how I have all the qualities of a great husband and father. Sorry, but isn't that what girls are looking for? And yet here I am still single. The whole thing just baffles my mind.
Unfortunately, most of the girls I know who have told me this speech and who later get married, also ended up with some loser after a few months of dating, have a few kids, and then end up in divorce. It's sad. I'm sad to say that after telling me about the divorce, some of the ones this happened to have confessed to me that they wish they would have stuck with me. I hate hearing things like that, but... is it too much to say to those that this happened too that... you missed your chance?
Normally, after hearing the "nice guy" speech, I would be down in the dumbs. For some reason I'm not too bad right now. Perhaps it's because I've heard it so many times now, or maybe it's because I wasn't as attracted to her as much as I had thought. Maybe it's because I have been thinking about asking another girl in my ward on a date so I'm not worried about it because I'll move on.
Maybe, and I hope it isn't this, but it is more than likely this reason, but maybe it's because it hasn't hit me yet.
Anyway, I guess the quest continues and on the top of my mind is the question... when is it my turn?
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I figured it out. STOP going for girls that are younger than you. STOP trying to be more than just 'friends.' Maybe, just maybe, you should STOP trying to date for awhile. I still have someone who lives here who would be perfect for you. Did I mention that she teaches choir in the schools here? She is only a year or two older than you and she has never been married. I seriously think you could hit it off. Too bad your car is a piece of junk (no offense).
Besides, girls who give the "nice guy speeches" are totally NOT worth it. You are far better off without them. And one other thing. Those girls who get a divorce, probably got them because they
a) married too young
b) never got over being selfish
c) couldn't settle
d) it wasn't their fault
Good luck!
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